When Pete and Ellen and Dan and I went to Feast in the Field, we ate a 4 hour, nine course meal. Not many people could make the time fly by, but it is one of my favorite memories.💗
I just saw the Facebook post today. So as we celebrate Peter, I will share that he was a student at Saint Louis University during my young career in Student Affairs. Peter was a civil servant, I know he was deeply involved in the Knights of Columbus… but he also was deeply involved in student leadership. He was on the Student Activities Board and served in a leadership role. I served as the staff advisor to the organization. I will always remember our chats in one on one advising sessions as he would approach every subject with a deep intellect. He had this way of analyzing situations with a careful balance of head and heart. I’m quite an analytical guy myself… so I always enjoyed our discussions. Rest in Peace dear Peter. Here I am 30 some years later remembering the impact you made. I can only imagine the impact you made on the lives of so many since that time I knew you.
A Gift and a Blessing
In 2014, I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. Pete Nicastro was one of the first people I told. I called him on a Saturday afternoon, the day after my diagnosis, while he was driving with his wife and twins. I shared the news: thirty eight lesions on my brain and spine. MS at thirty seven years old.
When I finished, Pete simply said, "Okay. Is there anything else?" I said no. He replied, "Okay. Well, I'll catch you later," and hung up.
A day or two later, Pete did something unusual. He invited me to dinner, just the two of us. This wasn't typical. We'd shared meals before, but usually by circumstance. This was intentional. Deliberate.
I arrived at the restaurant to find Pete already seated. As I approached the table, he started clapping. I was confused. There were no televisions on, no obvious reason to celebrate anything. Pete looked at me and spoke words I have carried every single day since:
"Congratulations. Your life isn't what you thought it was going to be. You better go figure out what you want it to be."
Then he continued. "Matthew, you're going to have good days, and you're going to have bad days. That's what it is. I don't care. Your wife doesn't care. God doesn't care."
He paused. "I'm not supposed to be here. You weren't supposed to meet me."
Pete had been diagnosed with cystic fibrosis as a child. The average life expectancy was thirteen. He was nineteen when we met. Yet here he was, living a full life, choosing to show up for his friends.
"But no one cares, Matthew," he said. "Today is a gift. Today is a blessing. I'm not supposed to be here."
Then came the words that have anchored me through every difficult moment since:
"The moment you think, 'Why me? Why any of this?' and you rack up too many of those days in a row, then we're done. This friendship is over."
Today would have been Pete's fifty first birthday. The man who had the motto "Do Better Today." told me exactly that. It has shaped how I face every single day. His words have been my north star through the weight of this disease. I would not be where I am today without him.
Because at the end, Pete was telling me something simple: I needed to do better today. And those words have been telling me to do better today, every day, ever since.
I spent a long time trying to find the “perfect” memory to share, something that truly encapsulated the relationship I had with Uncle Pete. That search is part of why I waited so long to write this, but I realized that what matters most isn’t finding one perfect moment, it’s sharing what Uncle Pete taught me through his consistent involvement in my family. For as long as I can remember, Uncle Pete was a constant presence in my life. He was there for holidays, birthdays, and so many of the moments that make up a family. Over time, he and his family became woven into our own traditions and celebrations. They became part of our family. That didn’t happen by accident. Pete cared deeply about the people in his life, and he made the effort to turn friendship into family. He had a way of making people feel seen, valued, and genuinely cared for. What began as a friendship between him and my dad grew into something much larger, a lasting bond between families. That is what I will carry with me. I want to build the kind of relationships he did, to make the friends in my life feel like family. Uncle Pete taught me that, not through a single conversation, but through the example he set simply by always being there.
Peter was always a math whiz and a fantastic teammate to all who were fortunate to be on a team with him!
My fondest memory of Uncle Pete starts when I first started at a new high school and had to do a project. I was put with some people who I knew somewhat, not total strangers but still sort of an outsider to them, and we were assigned to do a project for our English class, discussing a topic amongst ourselves and with a guest speaker. Our topic, strangely enough, ended up being about our mortality, and how we as humans naturally try and handle that and how we live our best lives despite that never ending pressure. Uncle Pete was our guest speaker that we interviewed and talked to about this, and I learned a lot about him that I didn't know because I had never been super close or had one on one talks with him like that before. The biggest thing I took from that was even if we know that today could be our last day on this Earth, just live as best as you can. You don't have to be an amazing person who does amazing things like skydiving or cliff climbing or things like that, you just have to live as best as you can and be there for those around you to live a good life. You just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other even as things get hard or if you're uncertain of the future, because you can't stop, no matter what.
Peter and I shared a birthday! There wasn’t an April 28th that went by that he didn’t reach out to me to wish me a happy birthday as a birthday twin! I’ll forever think of him on that day. His positive attitude, witty humor and focus on family are three things that stood out to me always. Peter got to know Justin, my husband, at Pfizer and later we connected through our kids who both attended Rockwood. Our daughters both played basketball. He was sharp and down-to-earth, resilient and genuine. He left us with a legacy of important values to carry forward in life. Sending my love, Sarah Sperry
I remember when I met Pete in Junior High. We were in a play together. He was the smartest , kindest person I have ever met !
One of my favorite memories is when Pete and I would compare our 'Thanos cleaning strategies' - getting rid of half of our stuff we didn't need. Only the two of us would be so excited to discuss cleaning!
I honestly don’t know how to remember high school without thinking of Peter. We had most of our classes together and continuously tried to “one-up” each other in grades - except he always won. Peter was the kindest and most humble person. Like others have said, he immediately won you over with his intellect and charm.
Peter was (and is) a light and an inspiration. While many knew he had CF, even in high school years, it never defined him. His warmth, humility and drive is what will be most remembered. I will forever remember Peter as an amazingly warm, funny, highly intellectual friend who made me and everyone else around him better. And of course as the one who beat me in every class no matter how hard I tried!
I wish your entire family peace and love as you adjust to life without Peter. I know his light is in all of you.
For many Christmas Eves the Nicastro and Hartman families would get together for dinner and gift exchange. We would all wait in the basement for Santa to arrive upstairs. One year while waiting Peter decided to perform You Light Up My Life (popular by Debby Boone) with his cousins as back up singers. We all agree Pete was extremely smart but not the best singer! Remember this as if it was yesterday. ❤️
HE HE TOUCHED MANY LIVES. COACH STULTZ
I recall inviting Peter to talk at our 40th anniversary of council 7841, Centralia Missouri, June 2021. He was kind to attend mass the banquet and make a few comments afterwards to the entire group at Spirit Hall. I called him the next day and he was pleased to mention he was home safe, but the rain was horrible all the way home yet he made that sacrifice and attended our simple gathering to celebrate 40 years. Thank you, Peter for many great memories.
I went to Jr High and High school with Pete. He was exceptional in every way.
Other high schools allowed students to drive themselves and park on campus. Central kids had to park in nearby neighborhoods and hike over or bus in. The district “claimed” there was not enough parking spaces to accommodate student drivers. Pete put together a plan and presented it to the district showing how not only was there enough space but how to more efficiently setup the parking lots.
I first met Peter in 2008 when I was an intern at Pfizer. As a student on my first trip to the U.S., I was struck by his warmth, his kindness, and his incredible positivity. He gave me a sense of comfort and 'home' right away—especially through his vocal support for the metric system!
I will never forget the sight of him standing in the lab in the summer of 2008, holding two massive 5-liter bottles, jokingly telling me he was 'practicing lifting two'.
Over the years, despite the distance, we shared a special bond: we both became parents of twins. Knowing our families were both navigating that same journey was a connection I truly cherished.
Peter, you will be deeply missed, Rest in Peace.
The first time I heard Peter Nicastro’s name was in 7th grade. As part of running for student council, each candidate had to give a speech in front of the entire school. It was intimidating. Seventh grade can be brutal, and this was the year all the elementary schools merged into one big junior high. Most of us only knew the kids from our own elementary school.
The candidates sat on the stage facing a gym packed with our peers. One by one they walked up to the microphone.
Then Peter stepped up.
He looked out at the crowd and said, “I bet you think I’m nervous. Well… you’re right. I am nervous.”
The whole gym erupted in laughter.
Right then and there, Peter had everyone’s vote. No one needed to hear another word.
After that speech, Peter became the mayor of Hazelwood Junior High. He walked back to class through a gauntlet of high-fives. Everyone admired his confidence—but more than that, we admired how real he was. Honest, funny, and completely relatable.
That moment stuck with me all these years. It captured exactly who Peter was.
He will be missed!
I remember I met with Peter at one of the conventions and asked him for some advice in helping with children's activities. We went and sat and I must have asked 100 questions. He was very patient and said that kids can be challenging at times but that they are the future. I still remember how grateful I was that he took the time to help me.
I am a friend of Peter’s from high school. Yes, of course, he was the smartest person I knew. But what makes him the most special is that he completely transcended “groups” and was adored by everyone. His kindness, friendliness, and involvement was unmatched. Even 30+ years later, he never missed an opportunity to wish me a happy birthday on facebook. He made the world a better place and we all are better for knowing him. ❤️
I had Peter as a classmate in my home room at Hazelwood Central. We were both class of 1993 at Hazelwood Central. Peter was our class valedictorian and always involved in something at school. I was at SLU for a function in 1996, and I believe Peter was there, if I’m remembering. I saw Peter at the 2013 20th reunion for class of ‘93. Peter did a lot for Hazelwood Central and we as his classmates supported him.
Peter and I went to high school together. We competed in every single class that we had together which was a lot over four years. We pushed each other academically and I think he actually got a 5.0 out of a 4.0 because of all the honors classes that he took. I never got there, but I am honored to have possibly been in a little bit of the same league as him.
On another note, not many people know this but Peter was amazing at sit-ups. I think it was our freshman year that he got the most sit-ups out of anybody in a class of over 200 people. Boy, did he surprise a lot of people. Lol
I feel blessed to have known him and may his memory be a blessing forever.
He barely knew me but always cheerful, respectful, positive and interested in conversing. He always addressed me as "Mrs. Wood" even though I told him to call me "Claire". He was an endearing reminder of past times when people were consistently respectful and pleasant. He and his loyal family members are an inspiration in their ability to cope, but still maintain a close to typical full life and do it with appreciation, positivity, loyalty to family and their religion.
You will be forever missed, Pete.
Until we meet again, we will hold on tight to each other and your beautiful family.